Random thoughts Allen penciled on the sheets of foolscap he kept in his pockets, some written as grist for his radio comedy, others for reasons known
only to himself. Note how many of his lines carry a freshness, immediacy and universality that belie their advanced age.
Metaphors and Similes
everything in radio is as valuable as a butterfly’s belch.
as nervous as a jellyfish on a ford fender.
the … coffee tasted like something you’d get if you milked a rubber reindeer
Felicitous Figures of Speech
peeling the onion of doubt.
suffered [from] contusions [of] a former marriage.
friendship ripened into apathy.
won’t say i hate you—but my admiration for you is under control.
the world is a grindstone, and life is your nose.
how to develop new power. every mon–wed & fri do something you don’t want to do. tues–thurs & sat don’t do something you
want to do. sun—do as you please.
the emotional world sees men and things otherwise than as they really are, it makes a picture of the object of affection & loves
this picture, not its real object.
a child knows far better how to live than does an adult—he can still live in the fullness of spirit because he has not yet come
under the domination of his ego—he fears no king, even the majesty of death does not faze him.
a conference is a gathering of important people who singly can do nothing but together can decide that nothing can be done.
lawyer—a coward’s weapon.
celebrity—person who works hard his whole life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.